Unplugged

This entry is a result of a heaviness on my heart this morning. Maybe by writing it will help ease some of the weight I feel in my chest. It all started with a question that was posed recently in a group discussion, "Have you seen the power of God evident in your life?" In a small group of people, most of whom have a professed faith in God, there was a grievous lack of examples of God's power. After I got over my initial jarring the thought came to me that power comes from being plugged into a source. The lack of evidence of God's power was not because it is dormant, it is because we have unplugged from the source of all power. As I stated yesterday God does not change. He is the same God today as he was from the beginning of the world. He has no beginning or end, He is the infinite source of all things.

So what has changed: us. How can we be plugged into Him when we can't unplug ourselves from distractions like our phones or other media,etc? We look for fulfillment in how many people like our status update on Facebook or our new profile picture. I am not being judgemental. I am guilty of this as well. I have been challenged lately to change my investment portfolio so to speak. To reevaluate where I am investing my time and energy. When I look back on my life, I know I will mourn all the hours wasted on the pursuit of the approval of man. That is the fueling force behind this world. We can spend our lives living for things that will burn up when tested by fire or we can invest in things that will have an eternal impact and by things I mean people, people other than ourselves.

So why do we settle for a counterfeit purpose to our lives when we can have the genuine article. Is it because of the cost? Salvation is free but sanctification is costly. It is costly because it is invaluable, the alternative is a cheap substitute that will not stand the test of time.

"More Than Useless"-Relient K

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trivial, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

Hoarding

As I was praying this morning I had this connection with a show I watched last night and that I have watched many seasons of and the emotional condition of our lives. The show is Hoarders. I couldn't bring myself to watch the episode of the lady with the cats, who had used her house as a litter box and most of whom were sick and some who had died. To me it's just too sad when someone loves animals and takes on more than they can care for and ends up causing them pain and harm. Anyway back to what inspired this post. I was praying for someone in my life who has hoarded so much pain, bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness in their heart that no one can come in. From outward appearances they have it all together but their relationships have become so distant and broken.

So in the show people, very broken people, surround themselves with things, sometimes things that may have value but sometimes it's just trash. I don't just watch the show out of curiosity, my heart breaks for them and it is good to see when someone has a break through and is helped. So the hoard that fills their homes was created by the individual but it takes many people to help them clean up the mess. Sometimes many years can go by, even decades before anyone else knows the condition they live in. Eventually it may spill into their yard and then the neighbors take notice or someone cares enough to push their way in and calls for help on their behalf. This need to hang on to things is often triggered by a catastrophic life event. They don't realize they are surrounding themselves with things to insulate themselves from pain or people that could cause them more pain. Sometimes there are even people that lived with them that get pushed out by all of the stuff. They subconsciously are trying to protect themselves but the stuff ends up hurting them and making them sick and could even kill them.

So the connection is that when we emotionally hoard things like unforgiveness and resentment we push people away and keep them from getting close. We may think that if I let go of this pain or I forgive I am letting the person or people that hurt me off the hook. We think we are protecting ourselves or insulating ourselves from further pain. The truth is life will continue to bring about pain and people will continue to hurt us so we end up just hoarding more unforgiveness and resentment as time goes by. Eventually it will overflow and will be noticeable or someone will care enough to push past the walls we have built around our hearts.

Just like the things and the trash in these homes creates stench and an environment that is harmful so does emotional hoarding. I'm sure you have heard of the term "stinkin' thinkin'". When you have stuffed so much junk down into your heart it will eventually start to stink. It will come out in your interactions with others. They may not even be the source of your pain but you will take it out on them because your mind and heart are full of rotting resentment. The people that come to help in the show often are seen as an enemy and have to endure hurtful words while they are there trying to rescue the hoarder from the mess they created.  Emotional hoarding will hurt the one who is doing it as well. It definitely hurts them emotionally and can eventually hurt them mentally and physically.

That is why God speaks so much about forgiveness. It is not to let the people who hurt us to have a free pass to keep doing so. It is an extension of what Jesus did for us on the cross. Forgiveness and grace were granted to us although we can never earn it or deserve it. God knows that unforgiveness will only hurt us and isolate us and also hurt those that love us.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI

Ephesians 4:32

New International Version (NIV)

³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. "

 

Matthew 18: 21-22 NIV

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

 

“A forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man. “ ~ Henry Ward Beecher

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-forgiveness-20-encouraging-scripture-quotes/#ixzz2IoM1ePWH

Detour Ahead

I am going to share another treasure of truth that I found in Beyond Ordinary. In Exodus 14:10-12 the Israelites, in other words said, "We would prefer the absence of conflict, working as slaves in Egypt, to intimacy with God in the uncertainty of the wilderness." It is often no different with us. We will always be tempted to settle for the ordinary in "Egypt" rather than walking with God through the wilderness to extraordinary. God's greatest purpose for the people of Israel and us is not the destination but who we are becoming. God was willing to allow a nineteen-day journey from Egypt to Canaan to take forty years, not because He is bad with directions but because He is great with character development. God's wilderness detour was intended to refine the Israelites and to teach them about who He is. The Israelites needed to learn to love and trust God through the his provision in the wilderness so that they wouldn't forget Him in the Promised Land. In fact, God tells them that when they are fully provided for is the "time to be careful." Deuteronomy 8:11-18

Now this is no new revelation to me. I remember God laying this truth on my heart many years ago that it is up to me how long I spend in the wilderness. Based on the pruning and refining I let Him do it can take as long as needed and if I am resistant it will only take longer. One of the areas I am resistant in is financial security. I long for the day I can say I am financially secure, that is a Promised Land of sorts for me. I am not saying I want to be wealthy, I just desire to have enough to cover all the bills and enough in the bank to get through a disaster. But when I read Deuteronomy 8:11-18 it makes me realize that He delays full provision for our benefit so that we will be humble and realize He is the source of all we have. I will have to remind myself of this often because it is so easy for me to stumble back into stressing about finances.

There are numerous areas of my life that God in His wisdom keeps me in the wilderness to refine me. He wants me to recognize Him as the source for all things. Jesus in John 15:5(NIV) says“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." Jesus is the vine and God the Father is the gardener that does the pruning. I can't produce the fruits of patience or love or kindness just by mustering up enough willpower. I desire to have more of those things but desire is not enough. Sometimes I know I just wish He would give a greater measure of the character traits I want or need but He chooses to use pruning to grow those fruits in our lives. He uses difficult situations and people to grow these fruits in us. It is when we get to end of our stores of these things that we realize we need Him to fill us with another measure so we can extend love, patience, etc. into the situation or to others in our lives.  The purpose of the fruit is to bring glory to God and to show yourself as a disciple of Christ.

Now I know it may seem like I jumped track from Exodus and Deuteronomy in the Old Testament to John in the New Testament but it goes to show that God's character and purpose does not change. He is the same God He was with the Israelites that He is with us and always will be. His desire for people is always character development with the end being to become more like Him, resembling the image He created us in and restoring it from the one that has been marred by sin. While the Israelites were in a literal wilderness we are all in a figurative one that He uses to shape our character through refinement and to grow fruit in our lives through pruning.

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

The Desert Song-Hillsong



Iceberg

I stand in awe of what my Heavenly Father has been doing these last few weeks. There is too much to list. I don't want my first blog to be so long that no one will want to read future posts so I will focus on one thing He did to start.

I was listening to the radio and a couple by name of Justin and Trisha Davis were sharing some of their story and a book they had written called Beyond Ordinary. Some of what they shared resonated with my heart and I knew I wanted to read the book asap. Whenever I start a good book I am afraid to put it down because if I do I know the day to day busyness may prevent me from picking it up again for a very long time. So between loads of laundry and sinkfuls of dishes and picking up after my 3 blessings I devoured this book while my kids played and/ or watched cartoons.

One of the many things that stuck with me was the authors comparison of our lives to an iceberg. The comparison was that like an iceberg there is so much of our lives that most people do not see. Most of who we truly are is hidden below the water line. So the part of the iceberg or our lives that is visible is what we want people to see. The illusion is that there is so much more beneath the surface that we can choose to keep hidden. We do lower the water mark for those closest to us knowing that we can always raise again if we feel too vulnerable. So in a way this blog is me lowering the water mark just a bit, which makes me a little fearful. Putting my thoughts and what is on my heart out there for anyone to read and interpret as they will is a risk.

The reason I have chosen to do this is because as confirmed by a message I heard this week sharing the Gospel starts with sharing the story of what God has done in your life. It isn't having all of the answers to every  question the Bible evokes or knowing all the correct Theology and the original translation from Hebrew or Greek. It is about sharing your heart with others and knowing that part of God's plan for your story was to impact the lives of those you share it with. So that is my motivation behind this blog is that my story or the things that God lays on my heart my resonate with someone like Justin and Trisha story did with me and help them to realize how much God loves them and has in store for those who love Him in return.